knivesoutt: smitten, but not stupid, i can read it all over your face

so emotionally drained lately.

today is vincent's 20th birthday and what better way to celebrate than a feast! tomorrow evening knivesoutt and i will be collaborating a vegan feast for a few friends. here's some of the recipe's we got together:

appetizer: ( WINTER CREAM SOUP )

main course: ( LEMONY ROASTED POTATOES* )

dessert: ( RED VELVET CAKE WITH A WHIPPED CREAM CHEESE FROSTING )

*we're still trying to come up with something that would compliment the potatoes so that it is more of a "main course" and less of just a serving of potatoes, suggestions are welcome.

we all really love potatoes so it's a very potato infused meal. i'm really excited for all of this.

-autree

@the smell Sunday November 22nd:

Food Not Bombs benefit show...

Baseck and Sonic Death Rabbit
WAR TAPES
John Carpenter
Pack Of Wild Animals

Plus FREE vegan food!

http://www.quarrygirl.com/2009/06/28/undercover-investigation-of-la-area-vegan-restaurants/
someone dug this up and sent it to me and it really got under my skin

my sleep schedule is all wrong. sleeping the day away and staying up all night is not normal. i need some insomniac friends.
WHY WONT SHE DATE ME!!!

things with richie have been called off. it was completely mutual and he will always be my best friend indefinitely but right now isn't a great time for either of us. i promise i don't feel like i wasted 4 years of my life as he will always be a part of it. i don't really want to get into details over the internet but neither of us are upset over this.

I lost some braincells today

my brown hat got torn off my head that night.

"Veganism is of course about non-exploitation, not reducing suffering or cruelty (everybody already opposes the latter things; we don't need a vegan movement in order to oppose cruelty). So what better way to explain veganism than by examining a case where most everyone coming into it thinks that the situation is not "cruel" to begin with?

That, more than anything, is I think why the honey issue is confusing to people, even among some people who practice veganism. People are so stuck in the mindset that it's OK to exploit animals as long as you do it nicely, that sometimes even new vegans don't realize that they've stumbled into something much more profound. I'm willing to bet that people think that honey is vegan less because they don't care about bees and more because they don't understand what veganism truly stands for.

So if you are excited about the possibility of transforming the honey issue into something that we can use to present veganism in a positive light, there's still time to back this project."

last night/ this morning was honestly, ridiculously hilarious, amazing and fun. we decided to set aside our differences. he is, once again, my boyfriend. it's easy for me to let go of the past, only because he has, so many times for me. and it takes two to tango. so tango i will. and if he lets me down, even in the least, then that will be that. and that chapter of my life will be closed. my parents went out of town, so me and alley had somewhat of a small get together. danny, ana, lauren, and chelsea came over. with the pot. me and alley were drinking a little before, but they picked up orange juice and white cranberry :*, so good with belvedere vodka, and peach schnapps. we were drinking with class for once. i still prefer beer. anyways, augie, nate, roland, and nik came over and we continued drinking/partying/eating some burnt cookies i had previously attempted making (i'm not housewife status), and then my boyfriend came over. i guess it was awkward with him and jason, a previous lover, but i paid no attention. it was my night. well after a few more drinks jason was completely toasted. out of his mind, hunchback, fucked the fuck up. and he asked me to pierce his lip. not a good idea considering i had a lot of alcohol and some weed in my system. so i did it too low. haha. payback (if you know the story behind me and him, you'll know what i mean), eventually everyone left and we pierced hailey's septum, then me and boyfriend cuddled with hailey and then she went to sleep for a couple hours and i continued speaking with richie about the past and possible future. we needed that long talk. then i wouldn't let him sleep because i got really wide awake and was dancing to neil diamond and at 6am i decided it was time for us to get out of the house. we went to ihop, target, and gamestop. then me and alley left, and richie went home. i spent the rest of the day sleeping.

i don't really have any words to explain today. busy bee. i don't even know how to explain everything that's happened since the last entry. RICHIE is back in the clear. love sucks. as does vulnerability and unconditional caring. this is where forgiveness (but DEFINATLEY not forgetfullness) kicks in to gear. i don't know. i find myself saying that a lot. but i really don't. i'm happy, but nervous? we'll see where it goes.

i've been in really good moods. really cynical, to the point where it's straight comical. peopleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee are strangeeeeeeee. or maybe i am. or maybe both. i don't care all i really have to look foward to is when alley kills everyone i know and my life's filled with comics about magicians and vegan BLT's.

i'm doing better, i'd like to think. a lot better, actually. as opposed to a couple of days ago. i still miss him so god damn much, but now i realize he's* in the wrong, and i will not give up my dignity any more than i already have. i want to let go of everything at this point. days are going by a lot slower. oh well, with time comes change, and i guess i'm prepared for the worst.

as for them, i don't wish anything bad, just a huge fucking reality check.

GETTING CHEATED ON WTF FTW

i deleted my myspace.